Spirituality and Sexuality - Hardwired and Hotwired

Humans are hardwired and hotwired to express our spiritual and sexual nature from the cradle to the grave. We sit the top of the brain chain, spiritual and civilized, ready for every moment’s human and divine connection for a moment’s ecstasy. Hormones on fire are at the ready to get busy. This is who we are. This is what we do. The Creator has created us this way.

Spirituality and Sexuality are the great energies that empower and liberate the human spirit alive in our bodies to experience indescribable joy and sensory immortality. These are the paths of enlightened love, life, and peace. Sex and religion are about power and control, the paths of energy leading to slavery and addiction. Sex is the medium of the market place where the beauty of women’s bodies is used to sell every imaginable product.

Who teaches us how to live out this powerful energy alive inside us seeking expression? Why is the conversation of spirituality and sexuality’s most literal context, the place where most of us live and try to make sense out of our lives everyday, so difficult for many? Why must so many children grow up spiritually and sexually ignorant become spiritually and sexually ignorant adults.

How is our powerful spiritual and sexual energy to be factored into our quest for mating? Shall our passion seek to satisfy itself through intellectual negotiation over dinner? Or, will it act out its underlying primal and prehistoric rage to consume and be consumed?

If most people most of the time are both spiritually and sexually ignorant, immature, and illiterate; dysfunctional relationship can be the only likely outcome. Real people need real information about real life to make real and informed decisions about spiritual and sexual life.

The stories of women and men in pain reveal the struggle for wholeness of spiritual and sexual life believing the two seek the same experience of communion connection to the Great Spirit from which life has come. The sacred joining of spirituality and sexuality is the medium through which life celebrates itself and provides fleeting moments of ecstatic joy that charge and energize the ones who share the experience.

We are hardwired and hotwired for the ultimate expression of our spirituality and sexuality in one dynamic interaction of energy seeking to resolve itself into the afterglow of a calm and quiet peace for a season.

Miss Joy's Christmas Gift

Once upon a time in a very small town on the edge of poverty, there lived a woman who had the most beautiful flowers in her garden and all around her house. Every summer people came to see her flowers and maybe, just maybe, catch a glimpse of her.

She was a beautiful woman. She was a small one and a not very tall one. Maybe she was five feet two or three and a handful more than a hundred pounds.

Her skin looked liked it had been kissed by the sun. It glistened like she had been honey glazed.

To all of us on the edge of poverty, the notion good things come in small packages was never truer than with Miss Joy. That's what we called her because nobody really knew her name. She was a sweet woman some believed had come directly from the lake.

We called her Miss Joy. That's how everybody said they felt after passing by and seeing her for a minute from a distance.

Every time people saw her or just her garden, they walked away with greater hope for life like the image of Miss Joy and her garden walked on with them as they walked away. That way whenever they would feel a little bit sad, all they would have to do is remember Miss Joy, feel better and be able to go on a little further.

It was never more beautiful at Miss Joy's than at Christmas time. The curtains on her pretty front window would be opened for all to see her Christmas Tree. It looked like all on stars on sale. In the wintertime darkness, it glowed like something magical.

Just like in summer, people passing by would stop their cars on the side of the road. They would get out and stand and just take in the sight like it was one of the great wonders of the world. I guess, to folks who lived on the edge of poverty; Miss Joy and her works of beauty were great wonders.

I was there more than everybody. I would always wait until she would come to the window and wave before I would go home. I sort of imagined myself looking after Miss Joy. I never did see anybody else there with her.She didn't come to the window everyday. I figured those days she was just too tired.

Other times she would wave from the window every thirty minutes. After she would come and wave to everybody, whoever was there would slowly begin to thin out and leave.

I always stayed the longest. Somehow I really did think of myself as Miss Joy's personal guardian.

My parents had accepted this as something I was going to do. They never stopped me or even asked me why I did it. It was as if they knew this was something I had to do.

The greatest Christmas ever was the Christmas Eve Miss Joy came to the door and opened it to wave. As soon as she waved, people scattered like they had received the preacher's blessing at church when it was time to go home.

For some reason, while she was turning to go back into the house; just as she was closing the door, she didn't close it. She turned back around and looked out directly at where I was standing.

All I was waiting for was for her to go in. I would know she was safe. Then I would go home to be with my family.

I wasn't expecting what happened next. Miss Joy motioned for me to come to her. I wasn't prepared for this. Guardians don't talk to those they stand watch for. The honor is in the watching, the service itself. I was satisfied just to do it.

When I got to her door, I said, "Yes Ma'am".

"Young man," she said. "How long have you been standing watch over me these many years?

How could she know I thought I was watching for her, I thought? And then I accepted there was really no way she could not know."

About ten years, Miss Joy," I said.

"Miss Joy, so you think that is my name, too, do you?" she asked.

"Yes, Ma'am," I said to her as politely as I knew how to.

"Young man, what is your name?" she asked.

"My name, you want to know my name?" the beautiful queen living among so many who are ordinary wants to know my name, I asked with surprise all in my voice.

"Yes, I would," she said.

"My name is Reca, (ray KAH) Reca Celar," (kay - LARR) I told her.

"Would you like to come in Reca?" she asked me.

Thinking to myself, I didn't know what to do or what to say. How do I enter this castle, this living shrine? It is not my place. Who am I to enter such a place?

"I am inviting you in Reca," Miss Joy said. "Well! Are you going to stand there and think about it and keep me in the cold or are you going to come in and learn about who you have been watching over all this time?" she asked.

I decided I should go in. When I got in, I didn't understand what I saw.

There was a very large room. In it was the beautiful Christmas Tree everybody could see through the window.

Seeing it on this side of the window caused it to lose something I enjoyed from the outside looking in. It was clear I was about to learn something I should have known but did not know.

The tree stood there alone, beautiful and bright, giving off the light that inspires and had inspired so many over the years living on the edge of poverty. Could this also be the life of Miss Joy, beautiful and inspiring, but alone behind these walls living in an open empty space?

While I was standing looking at the great tree, Miss Joy had gone in and out of the room without my notice. I really am some kind of a great watcher.

She had brought me tea, chamomile tea. She told me it would calm my spirit and we could talk. She led me into another room.

It was her small sitting room just off the great open and empty room. There she began just to talk to me and offered me lessons I yet am honored to live.

She told me that from this moment, I was relieved, as her watcher. It was time for another to come. I didn't like the sound of what I was hearing.She told me I had been faithful to my task without knowing why. I had stood watch without ever asking for anything. I didn't want to stop now. She knew my happiness had been to stand watch.

I wish there had been time to think between her sentences and just look at her. All I know is that I know now why I have watched over her all these years. I love her, not so much for her but what it does for me to love her.

I sipped on the tea and it did make me calm. From the inside out, I slowed. I breathed deeper. The deeper I breathed the calmer I became.

When it looked like I wanted to speak, she kissed her forefinger, touched it to my lips and just smiled, "shhhhh." I'm slain.

My eighteen years had not prepared me for feeling what I'm feeling. Feeling was what I had heard other people did who could afford it. Most people living on the edge of poverty couldn't afford the luxury of feelings. It cost too much.

She went on to tell me that it was time for me to go and be a watcher in the larger world. I didn't understand at first.

She told me the task would now require me to help beauty escape its prison walls to have its own life. I wondered where Miss Joy wanted me to take her. I would have done anything for her.

She said, "I would love to have left these walls a long time ago but I could not. It was mine to stay here and bring joy to others living on the edge of poverty in their minds."

"Reca," she said as she looked way past straight into my eyes, "what is in our minds, we make real.

Poverty like all others things is a great illusion that requires our agreement. I am sending you out now to convince many others not to agree and to step beyond their limits. More than anything I want you to help others know they can do anything they put their minds to.

In all of us the Creator has made women is much more than our capacity to serve and wait on everybody. We also deserve attention. We deserve to be served, loved and respected for what we think, what we dream and what we can do.

That is now your task, Reca Celar. Yours is to love the many, just like you have loved me, the one. Watch for them and teach them to watch for themselves and each other. Teach them by your example. Make friends with others who want to make this world a beautiful garden for all to enjoy without having to go to someone else's house to look for it. Teach them that beauty is already in them right where they are. You can do this. I know you can."

The strangest thing of all happened when she finished speaking. She stepped away again for a moment. This time she didn't bring more tea. She brought a sword.

"Kneel Reca Celar before all you have loved from childhood to manhood," she spoke sounding like royalty.

I found no reason not to trust Miss Joy, whose real name I do not yet know. I kneeled.

She touched the sword to my right and to my left. When she had finished, she prayed for me, for my protection as she sends me out to model the love I have learned watching over her.

She prayed for women who are left alone and forgotten about in the prisons of their solitary and lonely beauty. She prayed that they might be free to reach for their dreams.

She prayed for women who are different by color and design that they might know their own beauty and follow their hearts.When she was finished, she told me to rise.

She presented to me the Sword. She called it the Sword of Reca Celar. I bowed my head towards her in honor.

"Your real name Miss Joy, what is it?" I asked.

She leaned to whisper in my ear and spoke a name I am never to repeat but to myself when I am weary. I am alive in the most perfect moment. I have watched for no reward but the privilege to watch. This Christmas, the task has grown.

Miss Joy put her arms around me and kissed me. She hugged me and held me tight in her arms. She closed her eyes. Then I closed mine. It felt like we became one breath and one heartbeat.

An angel was hugging me. I am holding her, this wonderful warm and beautiful angel in my arms. I wanted to pinch myself to see if I was still real. The most beautiful woman in my world the whole world loves me. This love will last me a lifetime. I will live in this moment every moment and share it.

Her blessing was complete. I no longer stand alone on the outside looking in. From the living lips of power, Miss Joy has spoken me to love and life. My time has come. I have clear purpose I must live out. Miss Joy held my hand tight like she was never going to let it go even as she told me to go and love many like I love her. I am to free beauty from the gardens of aloneness and loneliness.

Her last request of me was to remember her with love. How could I not? These are the words she spoke so gently as if she breathed them directly into my heart, "When you experience beauty, remember me Reca. When you have quiet moments in your own garden, remember me, with love. Remember this night. Remember your sword. Remember your mission.

Remember this Christmas tree. All these and my love are Miss Joy's Christmas Gift to you.

This tree is an evergreen. It is a symbol of the eternal. Only what loves does lasts Reca. There is a world Reca that lies beyond the edge of poverty. It is a lovely evergreen garden world. Do not let what your eyes see or ears hear fool you. It is a lovely evergreen world.

Just like this Christmas tree is clothed in lights of many colors, so the lovely evergreen garden world is clothed in a coat of many colors. With the power and gift of your love, free beauty to live and to love. You can free beauty to be more than what people see and take from. You can free to live out her hopes and dreams. You can free beauty to be fully alive, to love and experience.

"Miss Joy's last words to me were the ones I knew would come and the ones I dreaded to hear most came when she said with waterfalls in her eyes, "I love you Reca Celar. Thank you for honoring me with your love. I will continue to be loved by you through your loving many others. Only what loves does lasts. Merry Christmas Reca Celar."

This work is protected by copyright law and may not be used under any conditon with written permission of the copyright holder.

Christmas Lovemaking

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

Albert Einstein

Sam Cooke used to sing a song called, “The Best Things in Life Are Free”. The moon belongs to everyone. The best things in life, they’re free. Stars belong to everyone. They cling there for you and for me. Flowers in spring, robins that sing, sun beams that shine, they’re yours and their mine ya’ll. The best tings in life, they’re free.

If you haven’t gotten your Christmas shopping thing done, I want to put a motion on the table. I have an idea whose time has come. Some of you are privileged to have this experience everyday. Others wish they could experience your privilege. When was the last time your sexual love was so good, you felt high like you were really on a drug in the afterglow you didn’t want to come down from? Would you like a gift like that for Christmas? Here’s the motion looking for a second.

While you are busy buying gifts for Christmas, I hope you are spending some time thinking about who you give your sexual love to. This Christmas make your sexual love to the ones you love a priority in your gift giving. Your love and the way you give your love are a gift. I hope the ones you love and give your sexual love are people who love you and are really important to you. If they are, then show them they are. Demonstrate with your body your highest level feeling of love and care. Be the best gift they have ever had the pleasure to experience. Make it so good it will be a moment you remember. Do it with gusto. Do it with so much energy and enthusiasm that when you remember the passion you shared through giving yourself as a gift to the ones you love, your mind and body feel the moment all over again. You are high and don’t want to come down again. You look at your slain lover and touch them with love. You look at yourself in the mirror glistening in the musk of calories well burned and feel good about it. You are the gift worth giving.

I move we get busy. Did I hear a second? The best things in life are free.

What Women Are You Meeting?

“Grace was in all her steps, Heav'n in her Eye, In every gesture dignity and love"

John Milton

A recent Saturday, I met three women. One was 86 named Georgette. One was 25 named Maria. One was 9 named Jenny. What women are you meeting?

A friend called and asked if I would take Georgette to Macy’s. To Macy’s, we went without wheel chair, walker, or cane. When we arrived, Georgette noticed a young woman and asked if she might help her. Her name is Maria. Maria is a cleaner who took time from her work to help. She made sure Georgette got to the right person. Maria’s outstanding service care and respect got my attention. We exchanged information and planned a time to meet.

I stopped at Blockbuster that evening. On the way in, I noticed a little girl with her mother standing at a discreet distance hustling something. I managed to maneuver past her on my way in. On my way out is another story. As I stepped through the door to dart to my car, the little one stepped to me.

“Sir,” she said. “My name is Jenny. I am here to raise money for my musical group to be able to travel and participate in a competition. You can help in two ways. You can pay $2 for a raffle ticket on a trip for two. You could get three for $5. The second way is you could simply make a donation to support our project. Which would you rather do?

Step inside my experience for a moment and experience my encounter with a 9 year old who is so organized in her approach, I no longer want to avoid her. I want to help her because she is good at what
she is doing. I make a donation to her cause and applaud her and her mother. Jenny is winner.

One day in a period of eight hours, I had the privilege of sharing with three incredible women. Georgette
is the classic woman with an eye for quality goods and service. She will accept nothing less. Maria is a powerful woman of outstanding service care and respect. She gives. Jenny is an enterprising woman clear on how to accomplish her goals. She is business. Our world is a better place for the three of them. What women are you meeting?

Managing Your Emotions, Part Two

There's a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again - it leads straight to self - destruction.

Proverbs 14 vs 12
The Message (Paraphrased)

I promised I would lay out a plan for you to manage your emotions. I keep that promise, RIGHT NOW!

The way you think of yourself works for you or against you. You are what you think of yourself as winner or loser, or as someone you like or someone you do not like. You didn’t just wake up one morning and say I want to feel bad about myself. You had help. Influences in your life prompted you to feel this way.

Others influenced your early thoughts of yourself and you believed what they said. People who don’t get to feel good about themselves as children tend to grow up to be adults who don’t feel good about themselves. This sense of self kills more people than disease.

What do you want, a future as pain full as your past or something better? Do you want to have a better future managing your emotions or more of the same as usual? Do you want your future to be happy and success full? I hope you are screaming, YES!

OK. Here is the plan. This will work if you work it. I will help you accomplish this if you ask me. You will need friends, supporters, and cheerleaders. None of us succeed alone.

I don’t care if nobody likes you or you like yourself or not, you can re – write the script of your life and change your circumstances. Here’s one approach to the how.

1. Decide you want to live well.
2. Believe in your own power to create the life you dream.
3. Spend no time thinking about the negative experiences of your past.
4. Think only of the future you want.
5. Think of the new you that you want to become.
6. Design simple steps toward what you want to become. Be specific.
7. Visualizing the person you are creating yourself to be.
8. Be thankful you are now living out your own choices.
9. Act in your interests.
10. Live well and love well.

You can become the self and live out the future of your dreams. I know you can.

Live and love like you are running out of time. You really are!

Measuring Value By Numbers - Good or Evil?

“I do not concern myself with gods and spirits either good or evil nor do I serve any.”

Lao Tzu

Truth observed is a relative perception. Truth articulated is a relative projection. Trial by jury models the quest to realize truth and approximate the detail of legal incidents. The adversarial process between prosecuting and defending attorneys reveals an intense competition presented through argument for supremacy of point of view. Jurors sort through the arguments and evidence presented to assimilate the closest possible approximation of the facts. Decisions reached as a result of this process assert themselves as the only available conclusion.

Humanity’s activity since prehistory gives evidence of a continuing search to find what is not available to be found; an understanding of human existence and what gives human existence highest value. Highest value is determined by mathematical equation born to our system for processing. Numbers to the right of center on a horizontal line and up on a perpendicular line are considered positive numbers. Numbers to the left of center on a horizontal line and down on a perpendicular line are regarded to be negative numbers.

Positive is associated with good. Negative is associated with evil. It is through this system the values of good and evil are expressed. The notion of balance or the place of the middle where equal portions of influence are balanced is regarded the place of zero or the position of no value

The following examples cite the relationship between the perspectives good and evil. Prosperity is regarded to be good. Poverty is not. Forward is regarded to be good. Backward is not. Winning is regarded to be good. Losing is not. Powerful is regarded to be good. Powerless is not. This process is indigenous to cultures measuring value by numbers.

Managing Our Emotions, Part One

By starving emotions we become humorless, rigid,and stereotyped; by repressing emotions we become literal, reformatory and holier-than-thou; encourage, emotions perfume life;

Joseph Collins

Do you give yourself permission to be emotional, to feel, or express your feelings? If you are female, the probability is high that you do. If you are male, the probability is high that you do not. These ideas are not absolute.

It does not matter whether the differences between how men and women process emotions and feelings is the result of nature or nurture. What matters is that we learn how in ways that result in emotional health.

Most of us have observed adults yelling at children. We may have had adults treat us like that when we were children and grown up thinking this kind of behavior was normal.

We have probably observed adults yelling at each other like they were insane. Some of us may have been a participant in this kind of behavior. Relationships of love between adults can end up living out this barbaric and immature behaviorally violent nightmare. What is going on here?

Gloria Steinem one said, “The truth will set you free after first really pissing you off”. Here is a truth that is not so convenient to borrow words from former Vice – President Gore’s Academy Award Winning Film, “An Inconvenient Truth”.

People who taught most of us the principles of love and relationship did not (themselves) know how. We learned what we saw does not work. We have to learn for ourselves how - to live, love, and be in loving productive relationships through the hard knocks science of personal development’s trial and error.

We must learn how to feel, experience emotion, and process our feelings without getting trapped inside their horrors and missing out on the love and beauty available to our lives. Next time I will bring you the how – to help yourself and others. Unless there are organic conditions for which a greater level of help is necessary, I promise you what I reveal to you will work, for your and all around you. This will work if you work it.

I hope for you all the love and achievement your heart desires.

“O”

LOVE Does Not Need a WHY!

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Howard Thurman

Earlier, I recalled the times I should have died. I wondered why I had not died days after being born, having pneumonia, hanging, being hit in the head with an ax, a farm tractor turn over, being knifed, falling off a roof, nearly drowning, a murder attempt, and a near fatal car crash. I wish I could tell you this is fiction. It is my own story that is sometimes hard to look back over and believe even though I lived it out or survived it. I am a survivor, but why?

The why I have survived seems to have included saving a drunken airman who was face down on his burning pillow. Perhaps, it was to save the life of a beautiful European woman on a Greek Island when she overdosed. Perhaps, it was to save the life of a teen in Ohio with a suicide plan because his family treated him so badly. Perhaps, it was to save the life of a native woman in medical crisis? Perhaps, it was to save the lives of runaway girls from predators.

Love does not need a why. Something greater than me cares for me and has saved my life many times. In each case of my own survival, there was no logic to the why I had survived. All I know is that my saved life put me in the right place at the right time to save the lives of others.

I am alive to love and connect with others and for that I am extremely thankful. I am thankful to be connected to men and women who are loving and connecting to build a better world.

My high hope for you this week and for all around you; family and friends, is that you experience a moment’s touch of love in such a powerful way that you truly know you are alive to LOVE and feel love that is alive. I call that having an ENTHUSIASM. I hope there are so many for you that you find yourself faint from the experience. Live well and love well. Be thankful.

I am your friend who loves you. Welcome to the world we share. It is a great place.

Oscar Crawford

Rest and Relax

"When you feed that need, it opens a door. Your best thoughts, your best ideas, come through relaxation and play."

Roberta Goheen

People who live by purposeful intention with thoughtful mindfulness for personal care, take time to rest and relax their minds and their bodies. What do you do?

On Sundays when I was a child, my family did no work. Sunday was meant for rest and relaxation or what is known in the 21st Century as chilling out.

We still managed our farm animals. We went to church. We visited with family and friends. We ate good food. We talked. We shared stories and dreams. It was good life for us in the 3rd Quarter of the 20th Century.

Since the invasion advent of technology into everyday life, there is little time to rest the body and even less to rest the mind. If it is Sunday, you know there is enough broadcast activity over radio, TV, the internet, and movie theaters to overload the mind. The latest movies are in first run. NASCAR is running somewhere and so is a conundrum of sporting events.

With average consumption of TV on weekends in excess of the hours in a standard work day, there is neither rest nor relaxation for the body or the mind. The day of the week originally designed and organized for rest to recharge is now a day charged by the free market economy that seeks to make consumer slaves out of volunteers even more than crack cocaine and methamphetamine.

People who live by purposeful intention with thoughtful mindfulness for personal care take time to rest and relax their minds and their bodies. What do you do?

Turn Your Enemies Into Assets

Turn Your Enemies Into Assets

“Am I destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?”

Abraham Lincoln

There have been times in my life when I have felt like a victim. OK. Yes. I said it. I admit it. There have been times I have felt like a victim.

As a small boy, I was picked on by a family of five boys. These guys pushed me around a bit until I figured out exactly what to do.

Fighting the five of them was not the answer. I was clear the fighting odds were not in my favor. I needed a better approach.

I would make one of them my friend. I did. Making one of them my friend provided the rest as fringe benefit.

I remembered this recently while in a therapy session. I was recounting to my therapist occasions I felt I had experienced abuse. While sharing my feel sorry for myself story, a light bulb came on.

This event and others like it had developed a skill set. I had learned how to turn enemies into assets without realizing it.

Where I had perceived abuse, I saw how persons I had identified as problems had become either personal friends or assets. What about you? Do you have enemies you need to turn into assets?

You do? Here’s how. It’s simple. Learn what your enemies need. Provide it to them or provide them access.

Here’s what I know. Your enemies will not see you the same. When you turn an enemy into an asset, you no longer just have your own personal strength and skill set to operate from. You have theirs as well.

If you are like me at all, sometimes you will feel down. It is OK to admit this and let someone else know. It is OK to get help. It is OK to get on the couch and talk out loud. In our talking out loud and releasing our discomfort and pain, we discover how old enemies and painful experiences no longer have the power they once did.

I was on the couch because I was unhappy. While there, I discovered I had a new opportunity to transform a current enemy and painful experience into an asset. As a result I feel much better now. You will too when you love yourself enough to get help when you need it.

I Fall In Love Everyday

I FALL IN LOVE EVERYDAY

There is no accounting for love.

Colleen Huckabee

1950’s and 60’s soul balladeer Sam Cooke recorded a song entitled, “I Fall in Love Everyday.” I know because I was a teen in the late 1960’s. I bought the vinyl 45 and I wore it out on my record player playing it over and over.

It did something to me on the inside when I listened. It made me feel alive to hear someone sing what I seemed to always feel. Since my teen years, I have always found that I Fall in Love Everyday.

I never know who. I never know how. Some days the new ones to receive the attention of my affection are black. Some days they are white. Some days they are brown. Some days they are older. Some days they are younger. Some days they are thick. Some days they are thin.

None of that matters because I don’t pack the need for all love to lead to sex into the moment. All I know is that someone new will appear in my world for me to love them from my heart.

I, personally, fall in love everyday. I live expecting to attract someone new for me to immediately love from my heart without any expectation of reciprocal or mutual exchange.

Love is what I do because I am wired that way. I am thankful to be wired to be overtly and intentionally giving to empower, to inform, to inspire, and to entertain another or others.

My personal goal and love’s goal seem one. It is to bring the gift of joy to another or others for a moment or for a lifetime. The privilege of making new friends and building new relationships is the extraordinary reward and grace when living a life falling in love everyday. I am a witness.

My Prayer For Today: To live right and love right as I Fall in Love Everyday.

What Is Real?

Honey, Be Who You Is!

Anonymous

21st Century marketing strategies and commercial ventures have convinced many living in Western Culture that it is OK to fake everything from designer jewelry and clothes to hair, and body parts. If I were single and in the market for a mate, I would all my lady candidates by asking how much of what I have the pleasure of observing is real and how much is not real or fake, just to be on the safe side and have no surprises later in the process.

In the movie, I’m Gonna Get You Sucka, a couple meet in a bar. They decide they will slip away and get busy. When they find a room, the man says, “Let’s just keep it real.”

The lady says, “Cool.” She then begins to discard all about her that is fake. Her wig flew. Her booty and her breasts disappeared. She took her fake eye out and discarded her prosthetic leg. She was just keeping it real.

While this behavior seems ridiculous in the extreme, how unusual is it, really? Any woman or man can have a big ole booty that wants one. Any man or woman can go from cup size A breasts to double D breasts that wants to? Booty and breast implants are really not fake once their implanted, right?

Heels make women taller and give their legs an appeal that standing flat footed can’t. Padded panties giving rise to attractive appealing hips and padded bras are just not fair. How many fellas have found a fella underneath all the padding?

From the botox face to sculpted noses, eyelash extensions, and colored contact lenses, what lies underneath the glitz? Guys, if I seemed heavy on the ladies, c’mere a minute.

Men wear shoes to appear taller and padded jackets to make our shoulders look broader. We seem to value tall. You can’t fake tall or long around bedtime.

What does it mean when it becomes the norm to fake everything from your name online to your name in Vegas, to every facet of your appearance? What does it really mean? What are we saying about ourselves and where does the madness stop?

Men and women pretend to be civilized and sophisticated, charming and kind. In reality, they are neither. How many times have you heard a married man or woman comment about their spouse being sensitive and caring before saying I do to observe them transform into demons from hell after the, I do?

Marvin Gaye used to sing, “Make me wannna holla, throw up both my hands.” Isn’t that how many of us have felt when we had to admit we had fallen for the fake out.

As little children, many of us played dress up and make believe. We loved it. It was fun to pretend to be something we were not. That is what we did as little children. Grown folks, that is what we did as little children.

I offer no value judgment here. Some of us need all the help we can get with our looks. We really do. OK, I am speaking about myself, but where does the fake end and the real begin?

The privilege of being an adult is not having to do anything you don’t want to do. You are grown. You can do whatever you want to do but I offer a caution and a suggestion. It can be summed up in what some of our grand mommas used to say to us, “Honey, be who you is.”

I want to build on that sage counsel and offer this caution and suggestion. Be who you are even if everything you are is not totally real. It is after all your life. Your behavior is your choice so long as your behaviors don’t harm others. Just don’t lose sight of who you really are in the dress up because after all that is the only relevant question isn’t it, who you really are. Who you really are is not fake. Who you really are is real.

Missing Children in Arizona Followup

I just followed up with the Chandler Arizona Police to give them the phone number I let the girls call from my phone. I went over the conversation I had with the child who said an adult male was bathing and would not come to the phone.

They confirmed to me that they had after confirming them missing presented them to the Gila River Tribal Police who then got them to their family who had reported them missing. Now, I must commit the girls to prayer now and be thankful they are alive. I am thankful.

Missing Children in Ariz

My Friends:

I want you to know about this. I was in my local library for some time last night. While there, I witnessed two little girls trying to print some documents when the librarian began to speak to them very strongly. He said, "You are not going to get us with your little scam today saying
there is money on your card." My impulse was to help them get what they wanted but elected to stay out of it.

On my way out of the library, these two stepped to me and asked for a dollar to use the phone. I asked for the number they wanted and dialed. They spoke to people who it became clear to me were not coming to pick them up. It is dark. It is 8 PM and I am concerned.

I ask them to get the people they called back on the phone. I ask for the adult but a child is on the phone. I demand to speak to an adult.

The only adult present is supposed to be a man who is taking a bath and won't come to the phone. My concern shifts a gear.

I ask how old the girls are and indicate I am going to call the police so they can get home so they will be safe. The taller of the two and the apparent older says she is 15. She might have been 10.

I ask to see her ID and she begins to fumble in her pocket where there are cards but none gets shown to me. I now begin to make other considerations. The smaller is beginning to indicate to the older they should go and get away from me. The older says we will just take the bus where they are going.

I asked, "If you had no money for the phone, where does the money for the bus come from." The older admits she has lied and apologizes. I have multiple considerations. One is they are afraid there will be violent repercussions if others get them home.

The reality would prove to be much worse. I allowed them to leave. I got in my car and called
my personal private social worker, Bonnie.

I needed to know what the most appropriate should be. She advised I make the 911 report. I did and 3 hours later the Chandler Police called to report to me the children had been secured.
They were missing children from the Gila River Reservation. They had been returned to their families.

For me, it is not over. I will be talking to the Chandler Police again to give them the phone number they called because it was in the 520 area code. They did call someone and I did too on their behalf.

We all know this happens. How often does it happen just like this?

Seven Signs That You Are Loved

If I could share with you ways to always get your real needs for true love met all the time, would that interest you? If you could learn ways how to love that always work, would you try them?

Come here for a minute and get a word that cannot let you down because the outcome is always on you. It will be whatever you decide. Now if you are a people user and a playa hata, this is not for you. This is for the mature who want to love well and get it right.

India Arie sings, “If you know yourself, then you would know me very well”. Her words are powerful. They speak of love that could be if lovers were willing first to know themselves well.

The following seven signs will teach you how to get the love you want if you can first become the love you want. Know yourself. Be honest with yourself about yourself and you will know others and what they want very well.

7 Signs That You Are Loved

The one who loves you helps you love yourself.
The one who loves you does not try to recreate you in their image.
The one who loves you is your biggest fan.
The one who loves you offers you the gift of the intimate physical nurturing when you desire for you to enjoy.
The one who loves you trusts you with others, men or women.
The one who loves you asks for little other than constant appreciation for their gift of love and self.
The one who loves you is clear on their relational priorities: God, Self, You – Others. They cannot give what they do not possess.

Do these seven things and you cannot lose. You become the extraordinary lover of the one you love, who gives you love in every imaginable way for you to be nurtured and feel the power of feeling good. It only requires the developed maturity of being honest with yourself and the one you would have receive your love, share your love, and give you good love.

If you don’t mind, I really have to go, I’m going to get with the one who loves me. Until next time, good loving to you and the one you love.

New Friends and New Relationships

Hi. My name is Oscar and I would really like to get to know you. Yes, I really would. You are that important to me. There is exciting story in your life and I would like to learn about you and your exciting story.

I do my very best to intentionally and on purpose meet some new people, make some new friends, and build some new relationships everyday. I find life dull and boring when I am not meeting new people, or exploring my relationships with friends and family to make them better. Life feels good when I meet someone new, learn about them, and feel the powerful energy that comes from making new connections.

My family and I are excited everyday about the new people we are going to meet and can't wait to share with each other about the exciting women, men, and children we meet. When we get together, we compete for air time to talk to tell about who we have met. We love it.

When I meet a woman who is excited about her life, is enthusiastic about her relationships, and engaging life as an adventurer, that is exciting. That makes me happy. I love to meet people who are excited about their lives and their relationships.

When I meet someone like I have described, I am thankful. I do not take it for granted. I want to introduce him or her to everybody in my personal inner circle.

I believe life can be lived like this when we live by intention. I intend to meet someone new everyday. On purpose, I have my eyes open and my radar on. Who will it be? Where are they from? What has been their experience? What are their hobbies? What do they like to do for fun? Where have they traveled?

This makes life exciting. I do not do bored well and I never want to be boring. What about you? What are you bringing to the colorful mix of life? Are you bringing excitement and contagious enthusiasm?

We seem only to get from life what we bring to it. I want to encourage you to bring to life what you want from life. If you desire to be involved with loving and exciting people, become loving and exciting. Become and be the person others want to hang out with or be in the company of. You can do this. I know you can.

Hi. My name is Oscar and I would really like to get to know you. Yes, I really would. You are that important to me.