Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.”
Anonymous
How long does it take to get over abuse? Should a person be over the affects of abuse in a month, a year, a lifetime? What about an entire culture? How long should it take a culture to get over abuse?
How long should it take a woman to get over the experience of incest, rape, or domestic violence? How long should it take a child to get over the violence of adults who didn’t know how to love? Why do people who are supposed to love and care cause so much pain?
Bonnie St. John reports of a woman whose father used her for sex until she was 15. When he stopped, she wondered what she did wrong. How long should it take for her to get herself together and no longer be affected by what happened?
How long should it take men and women who fight in wars to get over the affects and horrors of war; a month, a year, a lifetime? How long does it take to get over abuse?
Ancestors of African Americans were forced to serve as sex slaves, field slaves, and domestic slaves for more than 240 years prior to the Emancipation Proclamation of January 1, 1863 by the 16th President of The United States, Abraham Lincoln. Another 100 years would pass before legislation would affect civil rights for African Americans. Some ask African Americans, “Can’t you just get over it?”
Are you living life through the pain of love right now? Are you tired of carrying the weight of your pain and not being able to get it out so you can work on getting help? How long do you intend to suffer through the pain of love working very hard to keep secret the abuses of a lifetime hoping no one will ever find out? If you are one struggling hard to keep your primary personal pain a secret, it is time to stop and take a page out of the 12 Step Programs Big Book.
People working recovery systems know for them to get well, it is necessary to talk out secrets and self destructive behavior, come clean and turn the light on to opportunity to work on getting better. There’s hope. You can get better.
1 comment:
It isn't a one size fits all recipe. It takes as long as it takes. It's incremental.
The first step is a willingness to see things differently.
"I can't yet see this differently, but I'm willing to consider the possiblity that there is more to this than what I know."
That opens up a lot of doors.
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